Hey Company Girls. Like the title says, I am making some changes in my life.
#1...let God be in control and #2...to lose weight & get into shape
Let me show you some pics of me, before & after.
O.K. I am the chic in the orange/black shirt. This was Feb 2009. All 4 of us have b-days a few days apart. I weighed 173 & was wearing a loose 14 in pants.
Below was in Dec 2009. Weight 134, size 8 pants. Yes I know, huge difference. My doctor told me I was obese & put me on a prescription diet pill. This was the results. Love it.
May 2011-this was 2 weeks after my mom passed away. My daughter's First Communion. Weight back in the 170's. 178 to be exact. Dress size 14.
O.k. so as you can probably guess I am a yo-yo dieter. As of Monday, I was at my heaviest weight, 180.6. lbs.
I guess you can say I am emotionally unattached at the moment. I have been grieving the loss of my mom with food. I have been eating like crazy. I can barely get myself out of bed. I was making excuses on missing work and I quit going to the gym. I quit spending time with my friends. I would make excuses to go to the store, just so I could buy junk food, and I have only been to church one time since her passing. It has gotten pretty bad. :(
So what is going on now. Well, let's just say a family member made me open my eyes. I went to my cousins, to get my hair cut & we started talking about losing parents. She has loss both her parents & just this past March, her brother committed suicide.
She starting telling me how she finally reached rock bottom when her brother took his own life. While talking, I cried, cried, & cried. I couldn't stop. She was telling me that my mom would not want me suffering like this. My mom would want me to accept that she is with her Savior & she is in a better place. She told me I needed to pick a goal & starting living again. She told me that the worse thing I could do, is not attend church. I sat there listening, not talking, just listening & crying, for the whole 2 hrs.
I came home after my hair appt. and talked to my DH about our conversation. He held my hand & listen to me. He said something that hit my heart so hard. He said, "I want my wife back." He wasn't meaning the skinnier wife, he meant the happier wife. The wife that got out & had fun with him & the kids. The wife that cooked a big weekend breakfast, because she wanted too. The wife that workout in the basement & was so happy with her results. The wife that went to church. The wife that loved the life that God has chosen for her.
So...with God's help, I took back my life, from the grieving pit I was stuck in. Last week, I started watching what I was eating. I actually started back on my Slim Fast diet. I am NOT taking diet pills and I am keeping a journal of food, calories, & exercises on lose it.com. This week, I started back at the gym. I use to walk on the treadmill, but this time I am doing the workout classes they offer. I started attending the Zumba classes on Tues. I have gone 3 nights this week already & I am going again tomorrow. I have also attended 1 yoga class.
I already feel a big difference in me mentally. I am in a better mood, happy with my goals I have set, & I am starting to smile again. My eating has been under control this week, as well.
I have also started getting together with friends again. Most importantly...this Sunday, I will go back to church.
Life is starting to look better. :)
I guess you can say I reached my rock bottom a couple of days before that appt., when I sat home and ate 2 cans of pringles. Yes you read that right...2 cans. I was so sick to my stomach & I was soooo mad at myself. I am so thankful I made that hair appt. cause I really think that God used Pam to pull me out of the sinking pit, I had fell into.
I feel my mom is really smiling down on me now. My heart feels so big with all the love I have been given, in the last 2 months. Thank God for family member & friends. And I thank God for having the most amazing, wonderful & caring ANGEL, watching over me...MY MOM.
Rest in peace Mom. Love & Miss you deeply.
"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me."
Philippians 4:13
4 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing, Lauri! I had no idea you were suffering in such a profound way! I will be praying for you in all your goals. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
Nicole
Lauri it is so wonderful that you are finding joy inside of you again, I'm sure your mom is smiling down on you!
Hi Lauri! I am so glad I posted on Rachel's Company Girl post this week, otherwise I wouldn't have clicked on your blog. First, congratulations on your daughter's First Communion - what a special time for her, to be receiving our Lord in the Eucharist! Ironically, I can remember the pictures of me with each of my children on their Fist Holy Communion days; in 2010 and 2009. In both pictures, I hated the way I looked, but I never did anything about it. It wasn't until a doctor told me recently that he wanted to take out each of my top ribs. It was then that I decided to listen to my husband and start to exercise. He bought me a workout program that I could do at home - Thrive90 (see my blog posts with that in the title) - and it has been great! I finished my third week today and I've already lost some weight and am feeling better. I've got a ways to go, but now that I've seen some progress, I'm ready to see more and I know what I have to do.
I am sorry to read of the loss of your mother; but I definitely agree that God used Pam to deliver a message. Thank you for posting about this! Heather
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